25, agender/nonbinary (she/her is fine). Proud rock nerd and geology grad, planning to explore the realm of geochemistry/petrology. Fascinated by many things, and a lover of music, art, food, and sunshine. Please poke, I will be very happy to chat!
Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities
Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp) Monk Must practice a martial art Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice) Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government) Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA
If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.
I can’t wait until the future when pants are made illegal and we are only allowed to wear dayglow jodhpurs jumpsuits, billowy silk shirts over much lower cut dayglow jodhpurs jumpsuits, and sometimes just a regular ass stylish 1990s dress with one weird accessory.
why the fuck do people have to YELL AT SPORTS ON THEIR TV I don’t wanna hear it ever again
I have to let the sportsmen know what to do they are lost without my guiding hand. the tiny men on the TV run for my enjoyment the least I can do is be a leader to them,
Why does Wisconsin, the largest of the great lakes states, not simply devour the others?
Why Wisconson doesn’t Eat the rest of the Great Lakes Area, accoding to the notes:
-Already too full from the Cheese and Beer
-Michigan is shaped like that hands they are gonna catch
-Minnesota is Bigger.
runner-ups from the notes:
-Wisconsin Can And Should Devour Michigan because Michigan Is Terrible
-Minnesota would devour the other states itself but is too polite
-the great lakes states should not fight, but rather should bond over At Least We Are Not Illinois
Also on the list:
-Ohio is inedible and probably toxic.
This is my favorite post I’ve ever contributed to because it was like throwing a rock at a hornet’s nest and Instead of getting stung, the bugs all attacked each other instead.
New York gets Ontario all to itself and is cool with that. Nobody thinks over the NYC association to realize that we have a sweet lake, too
Posts like “reblog if you’re not (some disgusting group of people)” or “reblog if you think ABC” and comments like “I can’t believe only x/y followers reblog it” or “I don’t care about your Blog’s aesthetic if you don’t reblog this you’re an asshole” should stay in 2018. Stop forcing people into giving you notes. Stop thinking it’s helpful. Stop think the people who unfollowed you were those the post referred to. They were probably tired of that bullshit and the feeling of being forced to prove they’re not the scums of the earth. I’m done with this bullshit.
Know what? I’m not done.
A Blog’s “aesthetic” is what the Blog’s runner is most comfortable with, be it text or image only, or more than one type of posts.
It’s the content they choose to view when they log into their account, open the app, whatever. It’s their tagging system to find that one ask that always makes them smile. Or that video that makes their day bearable.
No one is under any obligation to prove themselves via a “reblog if” post. No one is a scum if they don’t reblog a “if you don’t reblog this” post.
“unfollow me if” posts might as well make me unfollow someone. Comments like “two unfollowed me after I reblogged this” do nothing, either, because small chance it was actually someone the post referred to. It might be by mistake, it might be tum*lr it might be someone who felt too obligated and decided to unfollow just because.
Some people come here to fucking relax and interact with friends, read stories/jokes, view gifs/moodboards/aesthetics/graphics, watch videos, and really just go to their sanctuary.
whats wrong with you? you got some sort of……..some sorta syndrome? you got a syndrome or something? youre tryna tell me youve got like, a syndrome
[goes to doctor]: whats wrong with me doc. tell me the ‘prognosis’ doctor: well, its looking as if you have some kind of syndrome [thinking] hmm.. thats not good
i diagnose you with symptoms syndrome
Lol hey guys guess what a syndrome is? Yeah it’s just a bunch of symptoms that doctors are like, hey we see these together a lot like this! Let’s give it a name!!!! Soooo…it doesn’t actually refer to the source of the problem. Just the symptoms
At this point there’s no excuse for a baby boomer to be technologically incompetent anymore. It’s just willful ignorance, this shit is not fucking hard
“why is it asking for a password” because you’re logging into something martha, that’s how it’s been for the last 20 fucking years
“how do i do [x] can you show me” no dale you can Google it like the rest of us. it requires one exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works. your generation was smart enough to cause a total economic collapse out of malice but not smart enough to type in a few words I guess
“im just not tech savvy” no you just refuse to learn because like in most things you are stuck in your ways
the worst part is after you help an old fuck with some sort of tech bullshit 9 times out of 10 they’ll give you some kind of bullshit passive aggressive thank-you
like “oh i guess you young people have to know something about those phones you’re always on, huh?”
give me a fucking break gretchen i have depression from living in the economy you created and my phone is more of a reprieve than dealing with your stubborn inconsiderate ass
AND ANOTHER THING that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely fuck things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened
what do you mean you set your phone to japanese on accident, phil? there’s like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there
“i think it’s because i got a virus” no greg it’s not a virus, the only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated grandchildren
i just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can’t figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions in front of them
Me, helping a client: “Yup, so the report you just downloaded should show up in your Downloads folder.”
Client: “Oh, ok. ….what is that? How do I get there?”
????? Lady you are running a company’s PAYROLL, and you don’t even know what the downloads folder IS????????
QUICK! Post all your adult content while you can! I’ll start:
Taxes, mortgage, 401k, bills
health insurance, life insurance, a diverse portfolio of investments
having to make your own doctors apointments, “Rentenversicherungsbescheid”, owning a landline….
Bringing your entire financial paperwork life to the mortgage loan officer.
Just the general absurdity of buying and owning a home.
Ice cream for breakfast tho, amirite? Bow chicka bow bow.
Attending city council meetings.
Attending PTA meetings, that shoulder/knee that hurts at random times for no apparent reason, rogaine
Dealing with customers who think they’re always right
Taking your car to the mechanic
Waking up sore for no reason
Does that mole look weird to you? Why do the gray hairs stand up straight? I have a department meeting at 9:30.
Waiting in line at the DMV, performance reviews, checking your credit report
Parents evenings
Your very first colonoscopy.
SPREADSHEETS
Working overtime, spending my overtime money on repairing my car, being excited to get dental insurance, putting on makeup in the car while you’re at a red light
Anonymous
